Cozy in the Corner of my Uterus

April 15, 2014

Today the country is running around to make sure their taxes are in, but I slept in.

I had an appointment this morning that allowed me to sleep in for just a few more minutes than normal. I got up, I showered, I had breakfast that was not eaten out of a cup in the car, and I wore my hair all wild and curly. I actually dressed in a maternity shirt today because it was 35 degrees outside in Mid-April and I needed something warm and comfortable. I'm not sure why it's literally freezing outside in Mid-April in Texas, but it is. This has been the winter to talk about for ages.

But this morning I drove to a familiar office. I'd only been last week. I sat in the chair in the waiting room, but today something was different. Last week they told me I had something, they told me that we really did have a baby in there. Had the news been different it could have simply been a wrong pregnancy test, a never-was. But after last week, we know there's a baby in there. Today I risk finding out we've lost something, or better yet someone.

I didn't realize it until I saw how nervous I was in the waiting room. When I went into the ultrasound room it was dark and I was alone. Kyle didn't need to come with me, there will be many visits, there will be much time spent in waiting rooms and he's busy too. I was the one that told him he didn't need to come, but then I realized how much I missed him being there. It was just me. Possibly me and little tiny baby, or possibly just me.

I held in the tears I didn't know I had. I didn't think I would be crying today. And I prayed. I prayed for the Lord's peace, for his comfort, but also for life. I told the Lord I wasn't sure if I'd make it if we lost this one too. And he reminded me that with Him, I would surely make it. No matter the image on the ultrasound.

And then the lady scanned and we saw a little tiny blob. And let's be honest, she saw a blob. All I saw was an empty round hole and no heartbeat. But she reassured me that our baby was there. Turns out this particular ultrasound on such a tiny baby can be difficult when the pregnant lady's bladder is full. Who knew? So me and my full pregnant bladder went to the bathroom and returned. Of course the entire time I was praying for the baby I didn't see.

But then there it was.

She said our tiny baby was 'snuggled all cozy in the corner of my uterus,' which sounded both cute and weird. Little tiny Baby Hess is still a blob. But that blob has a heart beat. Not one we can hear yet, but one that thankfully registers on the screen right around 130 beats per minute. Still tiny, sitting at about 7 weeks.

We now have a December due date. Which I think I just perfect.