Nov 17, 2014

Thirty Six Weeks: Happy Birthday Lincoln

November 4, 2014

Thirty Six Weeks

Little Tiny Human,

Happy Birthday.

I've been waiting.

I've been praying.

For longer than you know I've waited to hold you in my arms and I've waited for your eyes to look back into mine.

And today, today you woke me up so very early in the morning. And without words you told us you were coming. Last night your dad and I talked about the month to come as we imagined the next four weeks waiting for you. But you came today.

Today I held you in my arms and I fell in love with you.

Happy Birthday my sweet boy, you are everything I've waited for, everything I've prayed for, everything I pleaded with the Lord for in the months that have seemed like years of waiting.

I'm not sure you'll ever understand how many places you fill in my heart. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to explain the healing you have brought to our home. You will forever be Hannah's little brother, and that means more to me than you will ever be able to comprehend.
"In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I called. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry came to his ears.
2 Samuel 22:7
I called out to the Lord and he heard my cry. You, sweet Lincoln, just like your sister, you are picture of God's goodness and his grace, his never-ending never-failing all-consuming love, his perfect plan.
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
I have prayed without ceasing, and today I cry out to the Lord in thanksgiving. For I have spent months rejoicing in my suffering, and now I rejoice in the life that you have been given, the opportunity that I have been given to love you every moment of every day.

I pray for you today, sweet Lincoln. First that you will know the Lord, that you will know his great, great love and that you will accept his love and salvation and spend your life following Him. Second, that you would be safe, that I would never lose you, that you would live a most healthy, long life, and honestly that I would never have to bury you. I don't think my heart would make it.

I pray for the wife you will someday fall in love with and marry. I pray for the friends that will influence you more in your teenage years than I ever can. I pray for your summers in Colorado, that you would enjoy the adventure and not hate us for taking you from your friends every summer.

At night I quite often pray that you'll sleep well. I pray that you'll stop crying. And then in the silence I pray that you'll make a little noise so that I know you're still breathing.

Today I fought for you. I became your mother and I made sure the doctors and the nurses were taking the very best care of you. When they wouldn't let me hold you I held your tiny little hand and when they wouldn't let me feed you I begged to be a part.

I'll always be there. I'll be there so much for you that it'll be embarrassing sometimes I'm sure, but I can't help it.

I'm your mother.

I'll always want to hold your hand and be a part of your life. I pray, even today, for the day that I'll have to let you grow up. For the day my heart will break just a little because you won't be my little baby anymore.

But today's not that day. Today is your birthday. And I won't let you grow up just yet.

Love always, more than you will ever know,

Nov 14, 2014

Thirty Five Weeks: Skelly in the Belly

Our sweet little Lincoln arrived early on Tuesday November 4th. Oh we are so in love. While I'm away staring at my baby while he sleeps, we'll catch up to birth day with the weekly posts. With him coming four weeks early, we have a bit of catching up to do!

October 31, 2014

Thirty Five Weeks

Little Tiny Human,

Happy Halloween!

Everyone has been asking what I'll 'be' for Halloween this year. Since I work at the school we do a little dressing up. This year the kiddos dressed up in their costumes and I contemplated making a new costume this year.

But I still had my shirt from last year.

Last year when I decided to keep my costume, never did I think I would be able to wear it again the very next Halloween. So I decided that it was perfectly fitting. So yes, your first Halloween costume was a 'hand-me-down' from your sister and it was homemade by your mom.

That's Hannah on the left and you on the right. Such a resemblance...

So this morning I put on my skeleton shirt and I smiled back at the people who would see my little skelly-in-the-belly and smile. I'm just so very proud of you, you know.

Happy Halloween, I'll try not to eat you too much candy.

Love you,

Nov 12, 2014

Thirty Four Weeks: Little Tiny Giant

Our sweet little Lincoln arrived early on Tuesday November 4th. Oh we are so in love. While I'm away staring at my baby while he sleeps, we'll catch up to birth day with the weekly posts. With him coming four weeks early, we have a bit of catching up to do!

October 21, 2014

Little Tiny Giant,

Let me start by saying that I'm glad you're healthy. I'm so grateful that your umbilical cord works and that it gets you all the nutrients you need. I'm so blessed to see you bouncing on the screen and doing cute little things during the ultrasound.

But also,

You're a giant.

Today we went for your growth scan at the doctor's office. Once again they say these measurements can vary in weight. With you 'weighing' approximately 4.25 pounds three weeks ago, and with the average baby gaining half a pound a week at this point, do the math. You should measure about 5.75 pounds this week right? Or you know maybe the scan three weeks ago was off and said you were heavier than you really were so maybe you'll measure even less then that...


I paid a bit more attention this time to each individual measurements...

Your head, which means your skull, is quite large (and you have hair!). If we based your due date off your head alone you'd be due about November 15th, which is like two and a half weeks ahead of schedule. About the 98th percentile...

Your abdomen, which I'm assuming is more the size of your chest, is also quite large. About the 98th percentile as well. Due date just based off of your chest would be more like November 12th, which is you know, only 3 weeks ahead of time.

Your femur, which the sweet ultrasound lady refers to as your thigh bone (which would make way more sense to you until I turn you into a nerd), is sort of normal size, I didn't get a chance to look at all the numbers for your femur because they all of a sudden calculated your overall estimated weight based on these three measurements.

You weight six and a half pounds!

At thirty four weeks!

That's like the 97th percentile little baby. That's like if you add on the estimated half a pound you're supposed to gain every week and even still you get delivered a week early, you'll be nine and a half pounds! But if you keep up your rate of growth from the past three weeks which is 0.75 pounds per week then you know, you'll weigh a nice 10.25 pounds at birth.

Your dad was ecstatic. I am thrilled you're so healthy. But this just means you need to be streamlined and ready to go when delivery day comes. None of that breech baby or posterior stuff okay? If you need me to I can give you a lesson on what it means to be ready for all this okay.

Let's just say that the doctor moved onto a different subject during our visit and then glanced at her computer again and said 'I just can't believe how big your baby is!' and told me that her first baby was smaller at birth than you are now.

But don't worry, I'm very proud of you. I hope you come out huge and chunky and squishy and cuddly. And your dad homes you come out a lineman. He's already bragging to the world about how big you are.

We love you, you little tiny giant. Keep growing strong,

Nov 10, 2014

Thirty Three Weeks: Silly Faces

Our sweet little Lincoln arrived early on Tuesday November 4th. Oh we are so in love. While I'm away staring at my baby while he sleeps, we'll catch up to birth day with the weekly posts. With him coming four weeks early, we have a bit of catching up to do!

October 18, 2014

Thirty Three Weeks

Little Tiny Human,

Today we went to the zoo. We saw birdies and lions and even baby giraffes.

Today was your friend Sophie's birthday party and I was reminded of how much of a family we have here in our small town. There are so many people excited to meet you, and many of them are of the little tiny kind.

I was the big ole pregnant woman walking around the zoo and I make your daddy stop and take a picture of me by the white tiger exhibit. 

Years ago, nine years ago actually, when your daddy and I were dating we went to this very same zoo. And we took a picture by the white tiger...

I remember us smiling by the cage and snapping a quick picture. But turns out we were making silly faces. You have such cool parent... we'll never embarrass you...

Since the day we took that picture there have been many faces. Smiles of happiness, tears of heartache, and even tears of joy. Since that picture your daddy and I have every day fallen more and more in love with one another. Every day I think about how lucky I am that your daddy picked me to be his wife.

And now as the weeks go by we fall more and more in love with you.

Someday we'll take you to see the white tiger, and we'll take a picture of all three of us. And guess what, this time, we'll make silly faces again, okay?

I love you more and more,

Nov 7, 2014

Thirty Two Weeks: Worth It

Our sweet little Lincoln arrived early on Tuesday November 4th. Oh we are so in love. While I'm away staring at my baby while he sleeps, we'll catch up to birth day with the weekly posts. With him coming four weeks early, we have a bit of catching up to do!

October 10, 2014

Thirty Two Weeks

Little Tiny Human,

I love you more than you'll probably ever realize. More than I'll ever be able to tell you or show you. Someday when you have kiddos of your own, only then, maybe will you realize.

Someday you will do things for your children because you love them so much. But so will your wife.

She'll give up her beautiful skin to the stretchmarks that it takes to make your babies. She'll sometimes waddle around like whale and need much help completing difficult tasks like rolling over in bed or getting off the couch. There will be times when she feels as if maybe, just maybe she'll be stuck like this forever.

But she'll love you and your babies and it will all be worth it.

To me, you're worth it.

You're worth calling the doctor first thing in the morning with horribly embarrassing questions. You're worth going to the hospital in the middle of the work day to check on something that doesn't seem serious at all. You're worth telling every nurse, 'I know it's probably not a big deal, but...'

So yes, today I went to the hospital because they told me to. I wore the bracelet and I put on the hospital gown. And today I found out that you and me are perfectly healthy even with all the weird symptoms and the waddling.

And today I got to rest in a hospital bed and just listen to your heartbeat and feel you squirm.

You're worth it.

Love always, even when you steal what used to be my ankles,

Nov 5, 2014

Thirty One Weeks: Celebrating You

Our sweet little Lincoln arrived early on Tuesday November 4th. Oh we are so in love. While I'm away staring at my baby while he sleeps, we'll catch up to birth day with the weekly posts. With him coming four weeks early, we have a bit of catching up to do!

October 4, 2014

Thirty One Weeks

Little Tiny Human,

Today we celebrated you!

Your family up in Norman threw a party for you and me and daddy today. There was fruit and cookie cake and cake balls and those little tiny sausages that your dad loves. The room was decorated in blue and there were toy trucks all around.

If you couldn't tell, we're all excited about the little boy that you are.

I'll tell you the truth. You probably got a sugar high today because I ate so much cookie cake. Your momma loves herself some Great American Cookie Company cookie cake. Just remind me of that when it's your sixth birthday and you want a 'real' cookie cake and I'm telling you that I'll make one at the house. Remind me that yes, I can save money that way, but remind of how good cookie cake is and how I was the one who exposed you to it in the first place and got you hooked...

But today we celebrated you.

And this week your daddy told me that he's finally letting himself get excited, really excited about you.

Every day that we get closer to meeting you, I believe just a little more that you're coming home. That you'll get to play with the toy trucks. And that you'll get to have a sixth birthday.

I can't wait to meet you. But there's also a crowd in Norman who will be lining up to hold you too.

Love always,

Nov 3, 2014

Thirty Weeks: Just like Dad

September 23, 2014

Thirty Weeks

Little Tiny-ish Human,

You are the cutest.

You are.

I'm your mom and I get to brag on you forever, and surely embarrass you in front of your friends. It starts now.

Today at the doctor I got to see your sweet little face on the ultrasound machine. You were all cuddly and cute and you were making the best little expressions with your face. After we were all done you put your hand in front of your face and snuggled into what would be a pillow, but honestly is probably the placenta.

You looked Just. Like. Your. Dad.

In the same way that he tries so hard to stay up and listen to my never ending stories but eventually just gets tired. Or the way that he snuggles into his pillow when we get to sleep in on the weekends. Oh you reminded me so much of him. I do like watching your dad sleep, you know, so I'm sure I'll just stand there for hours and watch you sleep too.

Oh you're so cute.

I will say though that the lady at the doctor measured your bones and your head and all the parts today and then I asked how big it said you were. She started out with, 'oh about 33rd percentile' and then said, wait you're due date's not entered right. (It's because Hannah's due date pops up every time they enter my name, I've seen it, I know). So she changed the due date to your due date and then giggled a little.

95th Percentile. Estimated four pounds three ounces...

Even though my baby app on my phone says a baby your age should weigh 'almost three pounds.'

Your daddy-o was an eleven pound baby. See, told ya you were going to be just like your dad. Maybe some day you'll even have a cool beard like him too...

I love you, I'm so glad you are so very healthy,

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