Mar 22, 2016

Is there a better name for Pregnancy Hormone-Induced Emotional Mess?

Pregnancy hormones are making me crazy. One minute I'm all sappy staring at my toddler and the next I'm snapping at my husband because, get this, he was ready to go to bed. (Sorry Kyle!) Y'all I even asked him to try to consider my feelings when he decides it's time for bed and makes me feel like a child. It was like an hour and a half past our normal bedtime and I was falling asleep on the couch and I needed someone to tell me to go to bed... maybe it was hormones and tired. Who knows?

But this go around pregnancy has been pretty simple. I kind of know what to expect in most departments. The doctor's appointments are not new, the eating recommendations are old hat (I've been avoiding raw cookie dough for like three years now), and I'm even pretty good on the 'guess what size baby is this week' game.

But some things are different too.

Of course I now have a toddler to chase so my days of sitting on the couch making Kyle bring me bon-bons because I'm 'with child' are over. I spend quite a bit on energy shielding my belly from my wrestling toddler and of course there are times when I get a bit more winded and have to tell Lincoln that Mommy has to take a break from our dance party.

But there's a little thing that I wasn't expecting: all the emotions.

I found myself crying the other day, like sobbing, over nothing. As I tried through the crying to figure out what made me start crying in the first place I ran through a list of things that could make me cry. Which, of course, then only made me cry more. I missed Hannah, I was worried about how I'll love Lincoln when there's two kids, and how is this Colorado birth really going to go. I was all confused and all exhausted and feeling all the emotions and my sweet boy was hiding playing in the back room with his trains.

I thought maybe I needed more sleep, or a hug from my wonderful husband, or a tickle from my little guy, but really I just needed a bit of Jesus. I needed the sweet reminder that the Lord has everything under control, no matter what it was I was even crying about in the first place, he's got it. He even knows why I'm crying, which is great, because that makes one of us.

I went to Jesus and was reminded of my dependence upon Him. Mostly I was reminded of every expectation that he exceeds, every promise he fulfills, every sorrow that he knows and understands.

Easter is coming. And it's more than Peeps and egg hunts and tiny adorable plaid shirts (although I'm sure we'll have all those things and more). But it's the reminder that I need Jesus. I needed Him to die and rise again to save me, I continue to need Him daily to live in such a way that people see more of Him and less of me.

Even if the only person that sees me someday is my kid. Because, really, he needs to see Jesus in me too.

Eventually I quit sobbing and started praising the Lord, which then led to more sobbing, but happy sobbing. And then I found myself in church on Sunday singing His praises again, and right there in the middle of everyone I was sobbing again. I cry because I know His great love for me, I cry because I remember the loss and the pain I have been through, I cry because I am grateful for the healing He has provided and continues to provide daily.

I am grateful for my Lord. The whole world around me can fail, but my Lord will not forsake me. Even if my world is not really failing, because, like I said, I'm not even sure what I was crying about anyway...

Mar 8, 2016

Mountain Baby

For real.
Baby Hess Number Three is gonna be born in Colorado.
At like 8500 feet.
And possibly during camp.
If you've been around for a while you know that my husband works for a Christian camp based in Texas. We spend the 'school year' in Texas and then he runs the family camp they have in Colorado during the summer. This means that we get to live in Colorado for four months out of the year in the beautiful mountains with the cool, dry air surrounded by the sounds of wildlife and happy children. Sounds like a dream, but really, it's true.
We both work for camp while we are there so we stay quite busy, but it's a wonderful ministry type of busy and we can't complain about the setting!
But let's just say that when I went to see my doctor one of the nurses said something along the lines of "so I guess no Colorado vacation this year?" and I replied "oh, no, it's not a vacation, we move there. For four months. It's either I go with Kyle for four months or I miss my husband dearly, take care of a toddler all by myself while pregnant, and my husband misses the birth of his child. So yeah, we're going."
She was a little shocked.
But my doc is great. She determined the due date to be September 8th, give or take a few weeks on the actual delivery date of course. Lincoln came four weeks early so we're talking a window of about August 11th to September 10th. We live in Colorado until September 1st. So do the math.
If we try to make the sixteen hour drive home while one week from my due date, odds are in our favor for a roadside delivery.
If we try to get me home to Texas 'before the baby could possibly be born' we're talking about me leaving Colorado over a month early and doing the super-pregnant woman chases a toddler and daddy misses the birth of his child fiasco.
So we stay in Colorado. Until the baby is born.
I got on the phone with all the medical people and we've got a plan. I'll see my doc here in Texas until we head to Colorado. Once in Colorado I'll see a doc that I've seen for a few pregnancy checkups in summers past. She delivers babies and everything and will be able to delivery our baby at the nearby town's great little hospital. I have three friends that have delivered babies there before and I've heard no bad reviews. My insurance people say that everything's gravy, everyone's in-network, and we're all set to do this crazy thing.
It sounds crazy. Our baby could be born right in the middle of a camp session and we'd just bring the baby 'home' to our little cabin and I guess just be ready for the barn dance the next night! (Just kidding!) We pack the bags like baby could come 4 weeks early and we bring the things we think we can get by with. We try not to overload the car because we'll be travelling back home with two car seats this year! Man, oh, man!
It's still hard to wrap my mind around it all.
The Colorado. The traveling with a newborn and a toddler. The trying to walk up the hill to the campfire while nine months pregnant at 8500 feet. But most of all, it's hard to wrap my head around the fact that we are so very blessed to be pregnant again.
Baby Hess Number Three is on the way. Grow some healthy lungs kid, the air is thinner in Colorado.

Mar 1, 2016

Our Little King Cake Baby

Just in case you missed the big announcement: Another Baby Hess is on the way! We're due in early September and it's driving me nuts that we don't already know the gender. Call me impatient, but man I wanna know.

Note for the Non-Louisiana People: King Cake is a delicious filled cinnamon roll-like cake eaten during the Mardi Gras season. Hidden inside is a little plastic baby for someone to find as they eat their slice of cake. If you're not used to the tradition, it sounds nuts! If you've every had a slice of good King Cake then you are willing to break a tooth on a baby. So yes, our baby announcement was on Mardi Gras and well, you know what they say... you can take the girl out of Louisiana, but you can't take the Louisiana out of the girl.

More details to come on Baby Hess Number Three. We're gonna see how weekly pictures turn out with a toddler running around the house, it may be monthly photos this go around!

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