Hard Day

April 6, 2014

Yesterday was hard. Yesterday I missed my girl.

After Friday I think my emotions were all too near.

Kyle was working the weekend and I was at the house doing chores and catching up on mindless television programs. I was resting and relaxing. But turns out my mind was thinking too. It was thinking about our Hannah.

Yesterday I missed her more than I have in a while. My soul ached for her. I wanted so badly to see her, to hold her in my arms, to see exactly what she looked like.

I got out our pictures and I looked at them slowly. I remembered how incredibly beautiful she was. I cried looking at the little hands I would never hold and the feet I would never see grow. I wished so badly that I could hold her again. So I went in her nursery and I picked up the teddy bear that weighs what she weighed and I just held it and rocking in that rocking chair. And I cried.

Just because there are easy days apparently doesn't mean hard ones aren't still coming. There is much joy in our house, but that doesn't mean there still isn't sorrow. I often wonder how long it will last, but I'm not sure I'll ever stop missing her.