Two.

These are just a few words that I've written over the past few months. I'm sharing them today because they are a picture of what life after loss looks like even nine months later, even with another baby on the way. Some words are those written through tears and some are those of the continued hope and healing that I am so grateful to the Lord for.

This is a bit of a follow-up to a post I wrote not too long ago. This post will probably make much more sense if you read that one first. Go ahead, click over, it's short.

September 26, 2014

I stopped saying yes.

The more I walk around and the more my belly grows, the more people ask.

I don't know if it's like when you buy Chacos and then you notice that 'everyone' is wearing them, but all the time, everywhere, people ask:

"Is this your first?"

And I feel so strong because now, now I say, "our second."

And I smile.

And you know what they do. They smile back and they say things like is this one a boy or a girl? And then then they ask what about your first?

And you know what I say? I say, "a girl."

And I smile.

And usually they end it right there and say something like "you're so lucky" or "congratulations" or "good luck."

And I agree. I am so very lucky. Even if I can't hold either of them today, soon I'll hold our little boy, and yes, I am very, very lucky to be the mother of two.

"Thank you for asking," I got to talk about my little girl today.