Twenty Five Weeks
Little Tiny Human,
It's been two hundred and fifty days since I held your sister in my arms. Interesting thing is, today marks one hundred days until they say I'll be holding you.
Life is kind of wonderful like that. The day we found out for sure you were inside my belly it had been one hundred days since Hannah. It's the little happenings of life falling so perfectly in place that you just know they must have been perfectly designed by God.
It's funny too because that's how I count my life right now. Every day since I said goodbye to your sister is a big step, it's a sign of where we've all been and how far we've come. Some days floated by and some days I fought for. But as the days get closer I start to count them by you... how many days until you are here.
So today as the sun set and the air cooled just a bit, I took you out to your sister's grave. You've been there before and I'm sure you'll be there many times again, but today it was special. I wished so hard that you could have met her; I wished so hard that I could have met her. And then although I didn't think I would, I stood there and cried because although I know you will bring us great joy, I wept as I remembered that it will be quite a long time before we, our family, will all be together again.
I love you more every day. I love her more everyday too somehow. It's funny how every piece and part of my heart can love her and still have room for you. My greatest fear is not losing you, but not having anywhere left in my heart for you. But the truth is that each day you fill another piece of my heart that I thought was already full. How can my heart be so very consumed with love?
I guess we're just that blessed.
I can't wait to meet you, but surely I already love you,
Mom
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