Apr 11, 2014

When You Wish Upon a Star

Other than meeting Woody, I think I loved the nighttime shows the most during our Spring Break vacation. I love fireworks and I love shows and I love Disney, so you can imagine how wonderful they are all together.

We stood watching as Cinderella's Castle was lit up with lights and projections and how Wreck-It Ralph tore up the castle and good ole Fix-It Felix fixed it right up. We saw our favorite heroes, we saw the most hated villains, and we saw all the Disney Magic come to life.

Then a particular song started to play.

It didn't help that as it started with the voice of a small girl singing. It didn't help to be surrounded by cute little curly-haired brunettes in tiny princess costumes. But the song started to play and I wished so hard that there was truth in it.
When you wish upon a star,
Makes no difference who you are. 
Anything your heart desires, 
Will come to you.

I heard the little girl's voice. I knew my heart's desires. And I knew that wishing upon a star wouldn't make Hannah come back.

It's a sweet song. I love that it inspires people to dream, the song inspires us to think past a world where we are defined by our constraints; to dream of a world when we can achieve what we dream of. If no one ever looked past was they already had who knows where we would be.

But it's not the hard fast truth.

The truth is that God is good, that He loves me, that he is sovereign and works all things for good, that he will give me the desires of my heart when I am following after Him. Sometimes God's dreams for our lives are different than our own dream, and without a doubt they are always better. Always good. Even if it doesn't look like the good we expected.

So there I was, the girl who was crying while standing at the happiest place on earth. Tears were streaming down my face and I was a little embarrassed because I'm sure people thought I was tearing up because the fireworks were so beautiful.

But that wasn't it. I missed my girl. I got caught up and I wished so hard, but I knew there was only one person to be talking to. So I just prayed. I told the Lord how much I missed our sweet Hannah. And I told him how much I wanted another chance to get to be a mother. I pleaded with my Lord to someday give us more babies.

And there I was. Filled with the love of a wonderful God. Standing with my husband behind me, holding me in his arms. My head filled with memories of the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen. And then I realized that so many of my dreams have really already come true.

I know the Lord's dreams for my life will come true as I follow Him. I just don't know what his dreams are yet.

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