I know it's not Thanksgiving, but.

I understand that Thanksgiving is not today. And I understand that most of us have moved on to Christmas, it being 9 days away and all... but I think I'm just now realizing how much I am blessed with, and how much I have to be thankful for.

Growing up in the culture we live in seems to produce the American Dream that we hear about on the news so much these says.  We're told at a young age that we can be anything we want to be. That if we work hard we can always get what we want. That you make a list for Christmas and if you're good enough, you get everything you want on your list.

Do you see how many times "want" is mentioned? It seems it's out of the norm to talk about what we need, or much less what others may need, what others may want, and especially true: what the Lord wants for us.

This year I've been so focused on what I want. Now that I'm married my life is supposed to be all put together, that's what they say right? And so go my thoughts:
I want to have the cutest blog, the funniest blog, and the blog everyone reads... I want to have the best decorated house...I want to be the best wife and cook the best meals for my husband every day, always healthy, always on budget... I want to be financially responsible, I want to stick to the budget, I want to reach the 7th Baby Step... I want to look put together, I want to have the shoes that match the scarf that match the earrings that match the hair... I want to finish my Bible study every day, to memorize all the good verses, and to pray hours on end for all the prayer requests I've been given and all the ones I think I should also be praying about... I want to pour into others around me, I want people to like us, I want people to remember us, I want to be 'in'... I want to get my Masters, I want to pass my RD exam, I want to be the best dietitian and bring the best cookies to our Christmas party... I want to send our Thank you notes for when people do nice things for us, I want to have beautiful Christmas cards, I want our house to have lights... I want our toilet to not have mold, I want to clean the bathtub, I want people to think our house is spotless... I want to workout an hour every day, I want to have arm muscles that looks great in a dress, and abs that look awesome in a swimsuit, and I want to be able to run a marathon... I want to learn to really sew, and be crafty McCrafty, and paint, and for everyone to see... I want to be the best friend that always calls, always visits, and always remembers, I want to be the daughter that always calls, always visits, and always remembers...

It's exhausting. And that's not even all of it.

But 'they told me if I work hard enough that I can have all of it' right?

We wonder why we are stressed, and wonder why we are tired, and wonder why it seems that we always fail. Well maybe we... me... I aught to look a little closer at all the blessings I already have, and use those to accomplish His plans for His glory.

I have a husband that I fall more in love with every day and who is a man that makes me better and better and who is patient and who does the dishes and who warms my spot in the bed before I come get in, who really is even more incredible that I thought he was the day I married him. I have a family that is beyond wonderful who is silly with me or makes faces at me when I'm silly, but loves me anyway, who cooks yummy food when I come home and who I can talk to at any time by phone and who understand how wonderful it is to fall asleep on the floor. I have friends that are as busy as me but still find time to call, who still love me no matter what and who I 'm friends with even when we don't talk for months. I have a wonderful, cozy, house filled with Christmas galore that we got for free and was called "cozy and warm and full of Christmas" just last night. and honeslty I could go all day, that's just the beginning.

I have a God that loves me no matter what, literally no matter what because it's in his being. And he saved me, and he's a God that I would not be worthy to even look upon if he had not sent His son to die for us. ...Remember Christmas, little baby Jesus...

What does the Lord want? For me to trust in the Lord with all my heart, to not lean on what my own mind creates, to remember that yes it is Him who is in control and who is there for me and who provides all things I need... and he will make my path straught.

...so much easier than the 'I want." :)

Merry Christmas, Happy Thanksgiving. What about you?

Stay tuned. Soon to come: Christmas Cookie Extravaganza Part II, The Big 12 Game, and Finally the Yard Sale Pictures.

And of course, as soon as it happens... Christmas!