It's been a little quiet here because it's been so very un-quiet in my home. There are babies crying at all hours of the night, there are dance parties filling our kitchen, and there are squeals of delight filling our tickle fights and wrestling matches.
Our days start when the first kid wakes and I don't often really sit down until both of the kiddos are asleep. I stay up too late sometimes because it is nice to a have a few minutes 'to myself.' But if I'm honest I'm more sleep deprived than I ever imagined a sane person could be.
The days have been full. Our hearts have been full. But little is the time for writing or reading (anything more than Berenstain Bears and Moo Baa La La La). These are the days that belong more to them than they do to me and I consider myself blessed.
But I've been learning and wishing I could write everything down. We had a wonderful summer in the mountains and I was gifted a sweet book and few life lessons that taught me quite a bit more about my role as a mom.
I learned that being a mother can be my calling.
I learned that ministry with young children in the house sometimes looks more like wiping food up off the floor or getting a kid to sleep for the third time in one night. It looks more like running for adventure and getting dirty and changing clothes and trying your very best to get sand out of a 12 month old's hair. It looks more like working a little bit extra to teach your kids about Jesus and instill truth and discipline and show them God's grace.
It looks less like writing a blog that everyone loves or posting pictures that everyone 'likes.' It looks less like that casual yet put-together gal you see in the magazine with a Crew Cuts kid on her hip (like she doesn't get snot wiped on her shoulder every fifteen minutes).
I learned even more that they young years of motherhood may mean that you don't even get to serve in the places that are good. Sometimes you don't get to be the one to jump first to volunteer. You may not get to be the one to host weekly Bible study and you may not get to be the coordinator of the kids Christmas program at church. You may not get to be the listening ear to a friend in need because someone else is literally pulling you away with their sticky peanut butter and jelly hands.
And that's okay.
God has called us to make disciples and my disciples are just a little shorter than they once were.
Every day I need Jesus more than I ever imagine because I am all in. I am consumed by the diligent training of my people, the tiny people He gave me to raise up. Every day I am whittling my tiny arrows and praying that my quiver full will one day shoot straight for the Lord.
It's a holy calling to pour yourself out every day in love to your children. It's a mission to go to their little hearts every day and preach to them grace and love and justice and Jesus.
So the blog may be a little dusty and empty, my hair may have more dry shampoo than anyone's ever should, and I may even be looked down upon ever so often because I said 'no' to a very good volunteer position. But every day I tell my kids and my husband 'yes.' Every day I try my best to seek the Lord and his Word and know his will for my life. And today my calling is to be a mother.
And it's a holy calling.
